


Master And Slave

by markipwiwer



Series: Commissions [5]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Blood, Blow Jobs, Dubious Consent, M/M, Magic, Migraine, Mind Control, Stockholm Syndrome, Therapy, Transformation, Trauma, Vomit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-07 09:15:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17363252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/markipwiwer/pseuds/markipwiwer
Summary: Jackie is home. But this doesn’t feel like home. All Jackie wants is his Master. And all Marvin wants is his friend.Commissioned by ari-treasure, an expansion on the AU from “All I Need Is You” by the_angst_goblin, and a sequel to my work “Ignorance Is Bliss”!





	1. Welcome Home, Hero

**Author's Note:**

> I got through most of this in like 24 hours then didn’t finish the last 200 words for like a week because mania is just like that fam

Jackie woke up, sore and hearing things. Not the usual things, mind, not his love rattling and buzzing around, no. He wished for something as comforting as Antis skin against his.

Even calling him by that name was a sign of defiance. A sign that the voices were working their way back into his consciousness again, screaming for him to fight back.

No, that name was practically forbidden. It was Master. And Jackie was his pet, his obedient puppet, his slave.

As Jackie went to sit up in bed, he found that his wrists were bound with some harsh rope, tying him to the headboard. Not exactly a new situation, though Anti usually warned him first. His Master, knowing the kinds of horrible thoughts he was plagued with, always made sure to tell Jackie when he might be leaving for any extended period of time.

Hell, any more than a few hours sent Jackie on edge, and it took some comforting to get him back into his blissful, mindless state. 

Anti had mused recently that he may tie Jackie to the bed if he thought Jackie might be in any danger of escaping. The burden of free will being so compelling, so controlling, that Jackie couldn’t guarantee he’d be able to shut out the voices for that long.

And Anti had no intentions of letting his pet go. So, Jackie supposed, that this was simply a precaution. And although a little inconvenient, he appreciates it with all of his heart.

He appreciated his Master, adored his Master so deeply, that he didn’t mind the fact that he was hungry - wow, he was really hungry - and the fact that he wanted to get up and move around, because he knew at the very least he was safe this way.

He tried to roll over, twisting his wrists in the rope to be able to lie on his stomach. His ass would be on display the moment his Master came back, and it would surely be claimed again. That was why he had woken up so sore in the first place. The events of the night before had been... exhausting, being filled up with all kinds of toys in different shapes and sizes, stretching him out and making an absolute mess of him.

Through the static he had cried, begged and pleaded for his Master to fuck him, to let him cum, to own him completely. And Anti did so.

Jackie was getting hard just at the memory of it, and he began to grind weakly against the bed. Although the friction was minimal and without a pillow and such restricted movement, trying to cum like this would be near impossible. As it was, his hips aches and all his muscles burned from over exertion.

So, with a heavy sigh and a longing for his Master to come back and be with him, he stilled and tried to get comfortable.

As he drifted off, he heard the whispering of the voices crawling back in. He dreamt of arms wrapping around him, being taken away to some place safe, and he slept well.

-

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The beeping of a cardiac monitor woke Jackie up. Hearing ones own heartbeat in a digitalised form was rather surreal. He stirred, his arms down by his sides again, and he wondered if his Master was just in his head, making noises for the sake of them.

When he tried to speak, his throat was dry, but he made a sound the best he could.

“M-Master?”

“Oh my God, Doc, he’s awake...”

There was some shuffling in the room, and Jackie couldn’t even open his eyes without struggling against the harsh, unnatural light.

Then someone was feeling his forehead, and snapping their fingers in front of him.

“Jackie? Jackie, can you hear me?”

That was weird. That voice, it wasn’t Anti. Neither of those voices. The newest one had some sort of a bad German accent. In response to the clicking, Jackie flinched away slightly and squinted his eyes.

“Come back to us, Jackie. You’re safe now. Everything will be alright.”

Safe?

“Master... where am I?”

Jackie’s Master was always there to protect him, to comfort him, but he didn’t hear his voice. And that made him start to panic.

“You’re not with him anymore, Jackie. You’re in my ward. And Marvin is here too. He’s been watching over you.”

These people talking to him... they sounded familiar in some way. Jackie was beginning to see his surroundings as one of the people near him reached out for his hand.

Jackie instinctively pulled back.

“Don’t touch me!”

Only his Master was allowed to touch him.

“I - I’m sorry, Jackie, I didn’t realise... how are you feeling?”

Jackie paused as he finally got a look at their faces. One, who was standing over his bed scribbling notes and watching over vitals, wore a paper mask over his mouth and nose. Hair speckled with salt and pepper, showing signs of faster ageing due to stress. 

And the other, the one who had tried to touch him, wore a mask too. A mask in the shape of a cat face, with symbols on it.

“Who are... I don’t understand...”

The cat masked-man looked over at the doctor(?) with some concern, before backing away from Jackie.

“It’s us, Jackie. You’re home. And he can’t hurt you any more.”

The German man tried to speak to him, but Jackie could hardly hear, the panic beginning to overwhelm him as he started talking to the cat man instead.

“He’s probably quite delirious. He was very malnourished and dehydrated when he arrived. The IV fluids have helped but we can’t be certain what Anti has done to him.”

That snapped Jackie back into a bit of reality, as he jumped at his Masters name. He pulled himself up, accidentally ripping out his IV, and it stung the inside of his arm.

“WHERE IS HE? WHERE’S MY MASTER?!”

The doctor came over quickly, trying to have Jackie lie back down again, and Jackie struggled against him. It was difficult though, his muscles still screamed at him to stop moving. Eventually, he had to cave, and he shook under the strange, almost clinical hug the doctor gave him.

“I know it’s hard, I know, this must be a shock to you...”

Jackie began to sob. He couldn’t help it. He just wanted his love.

“Where’s A-Anti...? I want my M-Master...”

The doctors shoulders fell. Marvin brought his hand over his mouth in shock.

“Schneep, the others should know he’s awake.”

“You can tell them. But I don’t think it would be wise for him to have visitors right now. In my opinion, I’d be surprised if he recognised anyone but you first. I’ll keep an eye on his vitals. Maybe consider taking off your mask when you get back.”

“...right.”

And then Marvin walked out, downtrodden.

The doctor, apparently named Schneep, began to touch Jackie, putting his IV back in, checking his pulse and heart rate, doing blood sugar levels, all while talking to Jackie, trying to comfort him and walk him through things. But Jackie wasn’t listening. He continued to cry silently, being manoeuvred this way and that, and eventually he was laid back down again. A blanket was thrown over him and he was told to get some rest and press the buzzer if he needed anything.

Jackie’s face was still wet with tears wen he fell asleep again.

-

Over the following days, Jackie began to remember names and faces, as the static was completely rinsed from his mind with good memory of his family - well, this was basically his family, right? - and he had to start thinking again.

That was probably the hardest part. Being aware of his surroundings, having to remember things, having to make choices for himself. It wasn’t something he was used to any more and it made him feel uncomfortable. The first time Schneeplestein had asked him what he wanted for lunch, it had sent him into a spiralling panic attack.

Marvin helped. Marvin helped a lot. They worked on making decisions together. Instead of being asked what he wanted for lunch, Marvin would give him two choices of sandwich fillings. That narrowed things down a lot more. It helped if Marvin ate the same thing, so Jackie didn’t feel like he was putting Marvin out any more than he absolutely had to.

Jackie realised that he wasn’t able to walk properly. It made some sense, he didn’t remember the last time his Master - no, Anti - let him get on his feet. He always crawled on his hands and knees; even to the bathroom. Anti would often just transport him to the bath to wash him up, and he had his food brought to him in a bowl. It was... strange using utensils again.

And Jackie was covered in marks and scars. His knees were bruised to a disgusting degree, and it seemed that Anti had taken some time to experiment with ways to hurt Jackie in the long term, since he usually healed so fast.

And Marvin explain how he’d managed to bring Jackie back in the first place.

“We’d been tracking him for a while. Knew he was gonna be out all day. I’d be working on a teleporting spell for ages... and you were just lying there. You looked...”

Marvin tried not to cry. After all, he hadn’t been the one that had been hurt, right? Jackie had almost been skin and bones compared to what he used to look like. Battered, bruised, tied up like a dog. They’d thrown his collar away when they’d gotten it, and Jackie had cried when he realised. He tried not to yell at them for it, they didn’t know... 

They all thought Anti was bad. He tried so hard to tell them he wasn’t like that, that he treated Jackie well, he fed him and kept him safe and... 

His Master loved him. And he loved his Master. He tried to tell them but they wouldn’t listen, and Jackie realised quickly that they wouldn’t let him leave the ward and even sleep in a room of his own by himself until he convinced them that he didn’t think about it any more.

So, eventually, he stopped talking about his Master. When he was sad, he’d just cry. They all thought it was because he remembered all the bad things but... that wasn’t true. He missed his Master. He wanted to go home.

-

Eventually, they moved Jackie back into his old room. It smelled of sweat and asphalt, it smelled like crime.

That’s right, he’d been a hero. Once upon a time. That’s why Anti had hurt him so much.

That was strange, that Anti had deliberately hurt him. Everyone else said that people that love you don’t hurt you. But it really felt like Anti loved him!

So why hadn’t he come back yet?

Jackie cried the first night. He was turning into a real cry baby, but everyone understood. Even Robbie would come up to him and give him a hug. Schneeplestein had him on pain medication, and Jackie and Chase would play video games together to try and distract. Jamie made him the best types of tea, and Marvin... Marvin was his best friend.

They talked every day, no matter what. Marvin had put his entire career on hold the day Jackie went missing, and he still hadn’t gone back to it.

Jackie was incredibly thankful. And with Marvin, Jackie felt like he could be honest. Even if it wasn’t everything, Jackie could still say that things felt off, and that he missed... things.

He missed being held, he missed being adored, he missed not having to think.

Marvin had walked past Jackie’s door the first night and had heard the muffled sobbing behind the door.

Knock knock knock.

The sobbing went quiet.

“Y-Yeah?”

Marvin opened the door.

“Hey, it’s just me. You okay?”

It was a silly question, and Jackie didn’t even trust himself to open his mouth, lest more sobs come out. He simply shook his head.

Marvin walked over to the bed.

“Mind if I sit?”

Jackie hesitated, before shuffling over to give Marvin a space. Marvin sat down slowly, carefully.

Jackie hung his head in silence.

“So... what’re you thinking about?”

Jackie shrugged his shoulders in response.

“I know that’s not true. C’mon, lemme hear it.”

Jackie hesitated again. He did that a lot these days.

“I miss it, Marv. Miss being loved.”

“You are loved. You’re loved here.”

Jackie shook his head and sighed, almost frustratedly.

“It’s not - ugh, that’s not what I mean, it’s not... it’s not the same.”

Marvin paused.

“It’s okay. You can say it.”

“Say what?”

“Say you miss him. I know it’s true, I’m not gonna judge ya.”

Jackie was silent. His lower lip wobbled, desperately trying to hold back more tears.

“...fuck. I shouldn’t. I really shouldn’t, should I?”

Marvin shrugged.

“It’s not ideal. But it is what it is. He clearly did some weird shit to ye brain that no one else knows or understands... I don’t think any of us have the right to judge.”

Jackie nodded sadly, but was incredibly grateful for Marvin’s understanding. Or rather, understanding that he didn’t understand.

Marvin opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, but seemed to pause, giving it a bit more thought.

“Do you... want me to stay tonight?”

Jackie wasn’t sure about that one. On one hand, the company would be nice. Having a body next to him, he might be able to keep himself grounded, or even pretend that it was his Master lying with him.

But on the other hand, it felt like a betrayal. Like his Master would know he’d been in bed with someone else, and that was a bit... scary.

As if having read his mind, Marvin spoke again.

“Hey, it’s okay. No one else needs to know. Just you and me. Promise.”

Marvin was looking Jackie straight in the eye, and it was almost unsettling. He looked at Jackie like they were equals, and Jackie wasn’t used to that. It was strange. But...

“Yeah.”

“Okay. I’ll tuck you in.”

They used to sleep together all the time. Not even in a sexual way, just when it was cold or they stayed up too late talking and watching movies in one another’s rooms.

Jackie got under the covers carefully, and Marvin crawled to the other side tucking the blanket under Jackie and getting into the bed himself.

They didn’t touch. The blanket created almost a wall between them. But it was nice.

“Night, Marv.”

“Night, Hero.”

-

Jackie dreamt of his Master lying next to him. Cuddling him, kissing him marking his neck, running his sparking finger tips up and down Jackie’s frame. The teasing was intense. It set all Jackie’s nerves on fire, and all he could do was beg.

“Please, Master, please...”

That smile. That horrible, beautiful smile that ran straight to Jackie’s core.

“Please what, Pet?”

Jackie hadn’t thought that far. He didn’t know what he was begging for until it tumbled out of his mouth like instinct.

“P-PLEASE DON’T GO!”

Anti paused. And he backed away from Jackie. Jackie tried to get up with him, to follow him, but he was tied to the headboard and his arms bent in strange way as he struggled against the restraints.

“We can’t always get what we want.”

And with that, Anti was gone.

-

Jackie woke up, crying, screaming. He had been shaken awake, and he couldn’t see in the dark.

“Master? Master! Please, where are you, I - don’t leave me...!”

“Jackie.”

That voice... it sounded so close to his Masters. So close, though in his dream-addled state, it was hard to tell.

Of course, Jackie couldn’t know this, but Marvin had woken up to Jackie screaming in his sleep first. It was moans, and he’d managed to cuddle up to Marvin in the middle of the night. He’d been... grinding against Marvin’s thigh, and he’d tried to push him away gently, but that hadn’t been good because then Jackie had started to panic.

He and Schneep had spoken about using a spell in absolute worst cases, when Jackie just needed to feel safe and calm.

“But it must be used very carefully, Marvin. It could potentially make him worse in the long run. I leave that call up to you, since it is your spell, but just... don’t exploit it.”

Schneeplestein had given Marvin a curious look when he said that. Chances are, he’d known about Marvin’s feelings for Jackie, how once upon a time he’d have given anything to be with him but just couldn’t muster up the courage to ask out a real life superhero. What was a superhero to a goddamn party magician?

But now Jackie was no hero. He was a victim, he was in need, he needed comfort and Marvin was starting to panic too, in his own tired, guilty aroused state, and he did it.

Jackie felt out in the dark. The other face, the face that had spoken, opened its eyes. And Jackie knew that glow.

“Master...”

“Calm down, Jackie.”

Hearing his name coming from his Master was strange, but as his eyes adjusted to the light and he saw his Master in all his beautiful glory, he couldn’t think or care.

“I-I really missed you, Master, they all made tried to make me stop thinking about you but I didn’t stop! I stayed loyal to you, even though they took me away, and I’m so glad your back, I...”

Jackie rambled on and Marvin’s heart absolutely broke as Jackie kept onto him and help him as if his life depended on it. Jackie was clearly on the verge of tears, his speech was racing, he kept stuttering, he only slowed down when he felt...

Oh shit.

“Master, I’ve missed your touch, I’ve missed... every part of you, I just want to make you happy, please, let me...”

Jackie immediately had his hands on Marvin’s clothed cock. It had started to go down but Jackie was so desperate, so thorough, so needy, it was difficult to not react to the touch. It wasn’t like Marvin had gotten much action in a while anyway, and Jackie was so beautiful, even now with how broken he was.

“Jackie, no, we -“

“Master, PLEASE, I need you, I need -“

Jackie was having a hard time taking no for an answer, it seemed. Which at first baffled Marvin, since Jackie used to really care about other people’s comfort like that. But, chances were, Jackie was never given an opportunity to say no, nor would Anti ever need to say no.

Jackie’s hand continued to move, holding Marvin’s dick from the outside and squeezing it perfectly, just at the base, and that was... Marvin’s will power was fading.

Jackie wanted this. But Jackie wanted this because he thought Marvin was Anti, right? Would he do the same if he knew the truth? It blurred the lines of consent, it blurred the lines of what was morally acceptable.

“I’ll be your good pet, I just want to listen, be good, obey, just like you taught me, I exist to give you pleasure...”

Jackie seemed to be pulling himself into his own rhythm, his own security, and he shuffled quickly between Marvin’s legs before he could really even protest. Then Jackie was ripping Marvin’s silk pajama pants off - fuck, Marvin almost forgot Jackie was supposed to be superhuman strong - and then his hand was just wrapping around Marvins dick like it wasn't a big deal. Of course, for Jackie it wasn't, but Marvi had to keep himself from bucking up into Jackies hand.

"Jackie, we could get caugt, this isn't - OH!"

Marvin couldn't help the little shout when Jackies lips wrapped around the head of Marvins dick and that was... that was so much. Jackie was moaning, putting on a real show, and Marvin had to wonder if this was seriously was Anti got every single day?

Lucky bastard. Marvin wanted to kill him for making Jackie like this.

Oh, but Jackies tongue was more magical than anything Marvin could do. it was hot, it was wet, the pressure was perfect. Jackie wasn't sucking too hard, but it was incredibly enthusiastic, and Marvin was already completely hard again, leaking precum at an embarrasing rate. Jackie was drinking it all up though, humping wildly at the bed, eventually repositioning himself to be settled on Marvins thigh and humping against that instead. Marvin couldn't help but feel bad and he lifted his leg up a bit to help Jackie in some way, and in response Jackie took in Marvins entire cock right down his throat in one fell swoop. Barely a gag at all, just a lot of drool, and some serious eye contact. Marvin tried to muffle the pornographic sounds that escaped his throat, but it wasn't like Jackie was trying to be quiet, so...

Marvin must have looked worried, which was fair enough considering the situation, and after a moment Jackie bought himself up again and spoke, a rather erotic line of spit hanging from his lips.

"Is everything alright, Master? Am I being good?"

This was Marvins way out. He could transform back right now if he wanted to and, assumably it would all be over. But the way Jackie looked at him in that moment, pleading for validation, desperatly searching for comfort in the eyes of the only person he truly trusted, Marvin just... couldn't do it.

"You're - you're being so good. So good... A really good boy, good pet..."

Marvin did his best to replicate the style of speaking he assumed Anti had taken with Jackie, and Jackies eyes lit up in response. He looked like he could cry tears of pure joy. In fact, Marvin was sure he saw a tear slip out just before Jackie started deepthroating him again.

“Oh, oh fuck, that mouth is... you’re so perfect...”

Marvin couldn’t help but run a hand through Jackie’s hair, although Jackie didn’t seem to respond to it much, almost pushing forward more as if that wasn’t quite the right kind of touch.

Marvin took something of a calculated risk, and he gently pulled at Jackie’s hair.

The moans that came in response sent vibrations right up Marvin’s cock, and he accidentally gripped Jackie’s hair even tighter. Suddenly, Jackie was rutting against him like a wild animal, unable to control his own actions, and God, that just about sent Marvin over the edge.

He could feel that tightness in his gut, like a flame that was having gasoline dripped onto it, pushing it further along and turning it into an explosion.

“Jackie, I’m, don’t stop - Ah!”

Marvin was bucking into Jackie’s throat and he would have felt bad if it didn’t seem to be turning Jackie on even more. And just as Marvin was about to tip over the edge, he let Jackie have his too.

“Cum for me, pet. Wanna watch you while I cum down your throat, come on, fuck -“

Marvin held Jackie’s head in place and if Jackie hadn’t had a mouth full of cock and cum at that moment, he would have screamed. He came right into his own pants, leaving the inside wet and sticky and leaving residue on Marvin’s legs. And Marvin shot load after load right down Jackie’s throat, as he said he would, almost blacking out from the release of tension and the absurdity of the situation. He let go of Jackie’s hair quickly, as he saw Jackie convulsing. Jackie pulled up quickly for air, coughing a little and licking his lips, making sure not a drop went to waste.

They were panting, together, and Jackie shakily crawled up to Marvin’s chest to nuzzle against him.

“I’m glad I could please you, Master...”

Marvin felt a sharp pang of guilt at the name, as his orgasmic glow faded. He didn’t even get the chance to pull his pants up before Jackie was sound asleep against him.

-

Marvin woke up, embarrassingly half dressed and very sluggish. He’d turned back into his normal form sometime during the night, and panic immediately set in as he shot up and looked around for Jackie.

And there he was. His best friend, curled up in the corner of the bed, fully clothed, facing away from Marvin. It seems he’d noticed.

“...Jackie?”

Jackie curled up further, as if trying to make himself so small he’d fall right out of existence.

Marvin felt his heart break all over again. He was glad, in some distant way, that he hadn’t woken up with morning wood again.

“Jackie, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean -“

“I knew it wasn’t him.”

“What?”

Jackie rolled over, face blotchy and red from crying, unable to look Marvin in the eyes.

“I knew... kind of, anyway. I just wanted to pretend. For a little bit. But... why did YOU pretend, Marv?”

That was a good question. Marvin has a hard time finding an answer he was comfortable with for a few minutes.

“You were freaking out and I panicked, and Henrik and I had talked about some exposure therapy before but it wasn’t supposed to happen like that, I’m... I’m so sorry, Jackie.”

Jackie stayed silent. He didn’t accept Marvin’s apology, but he didn’t fight it either.

They both sat up, eventually, and just sat there in silence. Neither one looking at the other much at all.

Marvin furrowed his eyebrows after a moment of thinking.

“How... how did you know?”

Jackie stayed quiet for a moment, folding his hands in his own lap and staring at them. He sighed.

“Master doesn’t have a heartbeat. You don’t... spark the way he does. Your magic is different. It’s not bad, it’s just...”

Marvin nodded.

“It’s not him.”

Jackie shrugged, but it was the truth.

“Yeah.”

There were going to be an awkward few days ahead.

Schneep had been brushing up on his counselling skills to be able to assist Jackie in a more medical way, and he was in the midst of assessing whether Jackie perhaps needed to be on medication to keep the bad thoughts away.

This was going to come up in therapy, no doubt about it.

-

In some far off place in Marvin’s mind, a wall started to crack. 

It wasn’t Marvin’s mind, strictly speaking, it had a physical presence. His powers manifested in his subconscious space, and for any heavy lifting in terms of his powers, he needed concentration.

He couldn’t let himself get distracted; getting distracted meant that Jackie and the rest of their family would be in danger.

Marvin was acutely award of the wrath he was trying to keep out.

But he had gotten distracted, hadn’t he?

So the wall cracked.

And from the other side, a glistening, glitching eye was peaking through.


	2. Freudian Implications

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackie tries to come to terms with how much he misses his Master in whatever ways he can.

W̟̩̰̬̼͕̱̺̳̄̑̏̑͡h̴̢̧͈̻͉͖̃̄͒̚͝e̢̹̭͔͙͒̃̀͒̀̃̃̀̀͘r̷̢̻͍̩̹͔͉͂́̅̚̕e̵̡̡̪͖̳̝̖̰̦̐̄͌̐͊̃̉̚͠ í̧̛̪̗̪͇̜̮̇́̀̔s̨͉͎̖̗̀̇̽̃̏̎͜͢͞͞͝ m̷̧͓̺̙̖̍͑͑̈́̀͘͘͡͞y̶̤̗̺͔̟̞̑̀̑̑̕ͅ s̸̙̳̣̯͖̝͇̅̅̈̅̒͒̎͂̑̕͢l̵̗̗͔̺͎̫̩̠̇̉̄̓̚͠ͅa̶̘͈̲͉͕͗̌͛̐͛̏́̀̌̀v̴̨̛͇͈̣̰͕̍̀̀̇̓͠͞ę̸̝̝̹͙̝̹̇͂͐͑̍͌̔͘̕͠ͅ?̷̙̺̺͖͈̤̾̽̋͆͠͞

The house had been torn apart. There were scraps of rope and bed frame all over the floor, the carpet had been shredded, the walls had holes punched through.

If Anti had had a semblance of a coherent thought in that moment, he may have been grateful that he didn’t have neighbours.

But of course, there was no coherent thinking when his pet was gone.

When Anti had gotten home and saw that the bed was empty, his insides twisted in something close to disgust. Disgusted at the situation, perhaps. At Jackie’s insolence.

But as he searched the house and called out, going so far as to try to tap into Jackie’s mind from afar and he found nothing, something else built up inside of him.

He was shaking. He felt like throwing up, though he wasn’t physically capable of it. His form was malfunctioning to an extreme degree. He clipped through a door at one point, feeling so... something.

Anti didn’t like feeling things at the best of times, but this feeling was so guttural and extreme and Christ, he felt heavy and his head ached and he wanted to tear himself from the inside out.

He wanted to rid himself of this... thing. It seemed to be controlling him, his thoughts and his actions and it was so heavy that after having torn apart his most beloved collar for Jackie, the one that had been left behind, he fell to his knees, shaking.

He felt tears pooling and threatening to escape, and that wasn’t right. That wasn’t right at all. Anti didn’t get sad. He didn’t love or lose anyone or anything. It wasn’t right, it wasn’t in his nature.

If Anti didn’t get Jackie back soon, the worst could happen.

He might have to admit he cared for his pet.

-

“Trauma is subjective, Jackie. And regardless of my personal feelings towards Anti, I implore you to talk about your feelings and experiences openly in these sessions. It is vital to your recovery.”

Henriks voice was careful and deliberate, trying not to lean forward to much in his office chair, despite feeling rather on edge. 

The good doctor had brought in a nice, comfortable chair for Jackie to sit in during their sessions, to make things ever so slightly more comfortable.

Not that nice furniture was going to make Jackie any less traumatised.

“I know, Doc, it’s just... I’m already talking to Marv about it, it’s not like I’m repressing anything, y’know?”

Henrik nodded.

“I’m aware that you’re talking to Marvin a lot. And that’s good. I’m glad you’re not isolating. But, as your doctor, I’m not sure the kinds of... interactions you’re engaging in are entirely healthy.”

Schneeplesteins accent always seemed to get a little thicker when he was nervous, but Jackie wasn’t paying much attention to that. Instead, he looked up at the doctor with shock and fear in his eyes.

“H-how... it wasn’t anything! It was an accident, I was dreaming and it just -“

Henrik sighed and put his hands out, attempting to shush Jackie in a calming manner.

“I’m not here to cast judgement, alright? I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with being intimate, in fact, I would highly encourage building on relationships that give and take equally. However, the methods... I mean, Marvin’s form is -“

Jackie was growing frustrated in his own defensiveness, and he was lashing out more than he intended. But it really did feel like a personal attack, in the moment.

“I didn’t do anything wrong, okay?! If anything, he started it! I’m not like that, I’m loyal!”

Schneeplestein furrowed his eyebrows.

“Loyal, Jackie? What do you mean by that?”

Ugh, of course THAT was the part he was going to mention. A slip of the tongue and suddenly Jackie is being forced to think, and it made him squirm in his chair and raise his voice further.

“To HIM! To my Master! HE would never analyse me like this, judge me and try to pick apart my brain, but instead I have to sit here and listen to you talk about my love like you know what he’s like! You keep doing it, talking about him like he’s some monster but he’s not! I love him and I want to go home!”

The doctors look grew more and more concerned and it pissed Jackie off to a ridiculous degree. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt so strongly about anything except loving his Master. He didn’t very much like this ‘feeling’ business. His hands were twitching, gripping the seat, and he could feel the leather beginning to rip under him from his superhuman strength.

“But... you are home, Jackie.”

That was it. Something inside Jackie snapped. He couldn’t process getting up or moving forward but suddenly the doctor was pinned against the wall by his neck, his chair having been knocked out of the way and smashing against the wall.

“My home is where my Master is. And you are NOT my master. So stop treating me like you know what’s good for me!”

Jackie could scarcely hear himself, let alone the doctors broken words, and he certainly didn’t hear the office door bursting open.

But suddenly Jackie was restrained in some sort of aura, like a blue forcefield fitted to his body, and the sight of Marvin kneeling over Henriks shaking, coughing form on the ground was just enough to pull him from his rage state.

His tears didn’t run down his face like they usually did, instead they bubbled up and stayed on his face, a lack of gravity in the aura making it like outer space. He sobbed in the noiseless form, just hovering above the ground, and he couldn’t even move into a fetal position to cover his shame and cry into his knees.

He floated there, perpetually about to hit the back wall, until Marvin had come and gone from the room a few times, having put Schneep to bed.

Marvin was having a hard time looking at Jackie, despite keeping him suspended still.

“Jackie, I...”

“I’m sorry, Marv, I don’t know what happened, I didn’t mean it!”

Marvin didn’t try to reply. He let his aura down slowly, so that Jackie didn’t tumble to the hard tiled ground of the office, and then he walked out without another word.

Jackie didn’t move for a while.

-

Marvin could feel the wall cracking under the pressure. It hurt, like someone was trying to pry his skull open from the inside out. He was hunched over in his bed, curled up against himself, begging the painkillers to kick in just a little faster.

Exerting that much magic at once was dangerous. But he couldn’t let Jackie know that. It had been hours and he was still feeling the ramifications of having to hold back someone with that kind of strength. His head throbbed again and he had to bite back a groan.

The knocking at the door shot through his ears.

“Y-yeah?”

“Can I come in? It’s me.”

Jackie’s voice sounded small and meek from the other side of the door. At least it wouldn’t make Marvin’s migraine worse to listen to his friend. Not in theory, anyway.

“Yeah.”

The door opened and closed quietly, and Marvin uncurled himself to face Jackie.

The hero had been crying, that much was obvious. His face was red and blotchy and vaguely damp as he stood in the doorway with his hands trained to his sides.

“Marvin, I’m so sorry -“

“Schneeps fine. A little rattled, but he already wants to talk to you again as soon as he can.”

Jackie wasn’t sure if he considered that good news. It was surprisingly, definitely, but was it logical, on the doctors part?

“He really cares about you, Jackie. That’s why he’s doing this. We ALL care about you. We just want you to get better. We... we want our little brother back.”

Despite not being the newest Ego by a long shot, Jackie had basically been treated like the youngest, most fragile Ego until Robbie came along. Maybe that was why Anti chose him to begin with. Even with his line of work, facing more danger than any of the others, they cared for him so deeply, and what had he done to repay them?

A far off piece of his mind - a piece he was trying to ignore and push down right now because it had turned him into something he never wanted to become - told him that he didn’t need their love. It didn’t matter if they cared because they didn’t matter.

But Henrik had put himself in danger by wanting to see Jackie, did it anyway and still wanted to go back to talk to him.

It was getting harder for Jackie to just switch off any caring feelings he had about his family.

But it was so much.

“I just want it to stop, Marv, I - I just want to stop thinking. I want to forget and he let me forget, and I just... everything is so loud all the time and I keep having to remember everything I just want to make it stop...!”

The words bore into Marvin’s skull, almost physically, like someone was smashing at the inside of his mind with a pickaxe. Carving at his barrier with a knife.

Jackie’s hands clenched at his sides as he spoke, getting more erratic and desperate, and Marvin looked up at him pitifully from the bed, straining to see straight.

“Hey, come here...”

Jackie hesitated. But he stepped forward anyway, shaking a little, string closer to the bed until Marvin reached out to tug on his arm, making Jackie collapse into Marvin completely.

The weight of Jackie throttled Marvin’s brain in a strange way, and just having contact with Jackie struck something inside of him.

The way Jackie curled into him, still struggling to breathe, how small he made himself, how sad and scared he was, it tore at Marvin’s heart.

There were so many things he wanted to say, so many ways he wanted Jackie to feel better, and the memories of the other night flooded back to him, as if they weren’t even his own memories.

Jackie was so pliable, so weak, and the fact that the thought had even popped into Marvin’s head shocked him somewhat.

“I just want - I just want to forget, think is... it hurts, it hurts -“

Marvin wrapped his arms around Jackie’s waist, pulling him close, trying to comfort him. But Marvin found himself getting caught up, in the curve of Jackie’s hips, the vulnerability of him, even the tears tracking down his face, it was...

He’s so pretty, isn’t he?

Marvin’s eyebrows furrowed, trying to look around for a moment. The voice in his head, it barely sounded like his own but...

He wants a distraction. He came to you.

Was that his own voice? His own thoughts?

He’s so beautiful when he cries.

Marvin’s heart was pounding. The voice wasn’t... wrong, but it was wrong to think like that. It was wrong, he didn’t want to take advantage of Jackie like that, it wasn’t healthy, it -

You’ve wanted him for so long. And now he wants you too.

Marvin looked down, wide-eyed at Jackie, who was staring back up at him with puppy dog eyes that were hard to resist. Maybe he wasn’t even meaning to look like that, but he was... so gorgeous.

What are you waiting for?

“Let me help you forget, Jackie.”

The words escaped Marvin as if they didn’t belong to him at all, but he did want this. He wanted Jackie. Was he so in denial about his own feelings that they were taking form in some depersonalised way just so Marvin could come to terms with them?

The room around him wouldn’t stop moving. He saw double whenever he wasn’t looking right at Jackie, sitting in his lap, his head slightly tilted in confusion by Marvin’s words.

“Marv...?”

“Jackie, I’ve wanted you for so long and I was too afraid to say anything and then HE took you away from us, he took you away from ME, and now you’re here and I don’t want to be afraid again, I just want to help you.”

It was like someone else was speaking for him, he felt almost detached from his body but the words were true, he meant every bit of it, he just never thought he’d be able to say any of it. It was inappropriate, especially right now, and his speech was beginning to sound as rushed and desperate as Jackie’s had not a moment ago.

“Marvin, I don’t understand... Why are you saying this now?”

“Because I don’t wanna lose you again! Because... because I want you, I want to be with you, and I’m afraid I’m going to miss that opportunity.”

Jackie gave Marvin the same pitiful look Marvin had given him so many times. And it was a half tempting offer, because he wanted a distraction, but in his heart of hearts he didn’t plan on staying behind. It felt like... cheating. Like he was betraying his Master.

Before he had really made up his mind though, Marvin was kissing him.

It was desperate and rough, not unlike Anti at the end of a difficult day, and Jackie had half a thought to push Marvin away but Marvin was holding him close, hands gripping tight at Jackie’s hips. And then Marvin was grinding up, and that was an interesting sensation, maybe even hot, but Jackie’s mind wouldn’t stop telling him that he was being horrible, he was betraying his Master...

Marvin pulled away rather suddenly.

“Jackie, if you want me to stop, I need you to tell me now. And we can just walk away and pretend this never happened and I’ll won’t bother you about it again.”

Marvin barely made eye contact at all when he spoke, but when he did look up, Jackie noticed something.

A green, shimmering glint in Marvin’s eye, quickly disappearing - but it had been there. Marvin didn’t seem to notice, but Jackie definitely did. And that was it. Jackie was in. Just the smallest reminder of his love dropped him into a comforting headspace of not thinking about it even though he should ABSOLUTELY have been thinking about it. 

So, as if by magic, Jackie made no objections.

Marvin kisses him again, more confident this time, grabbing at him and pulling him as close as he could be, and Jackie kissed back, to a certain extent. Not with the same kind of passion, but it was still something.

Marvin felt his hands trembling as he lifted Jackie from his lap and lay him down onto his bed, nipping at the hero’s neck and tasting every part of him he could currently reach. Jackie whimpered every time he felt gentle teeth pulling at his skin, but he attempted to cover his mouth with the hand that wasn’t running through his own hair nervously.

Marvin’s hands ran up the old jeans Jackie was wearing, and he made quick work to undo the button and rip them off haphazardly, before tugging Jackie’s shirt over his head and off too. Jackie didn’t help much in that process, but he visibility shivered when Marvin ran a hand over Jackie’s slowly growing cock, cupping it and almost massaging it through his boxers.

Jackie sharply inhaled, closing his eyes like it was almost painful, and Marvin used every ounce of Will power he had left in his crumbling brain to pause for a moment.

“Jackie...? You okay?”

Jackie nodded, although his own brain was being flooded with the phrase, repeated over and over.

He’s not my Master. He’s not my Master. He’s not my Master.

Jackie felt like he was truly betraying his owner but, at the same time, his body was definitely reacting to Marvin’s touch, and the love and adoration for his friend was coursing through him. The passion Marvin had for him, it was hard to imagine anyone else showing that kind of affection, even Anti...

Lost in his own thought, Marvin had practically ripped the boxers off and then there was a warm hand around Jackie’s cock. That pulled him right out of his trance about Anti and he yelped, almost bucking up into Marvin’s fist.

It wasn’t supposed to feel this good. But hell, it had been over a week and Anti hadn’t come back for him.

Was he really going to stay with the Septics once more?

Maybe it was... better to get used to this. Not get himself caught up in hope for a rescue that won’t come.

Marvin was practically worshipping Jackie’s body with all the strange scars and marks that came with it, with all of the abuse it had seen, and Marvin loved it still.

Yes. He loved Jackie. That was... wow. That was a lot to think about right now. Right now Marvin simply wanted to focus on making Jackie feel good.

Jackie’s whimpers were getting more and more desperate as Marvin kissed tracks down his body, getting closer to his cock, before being unable to hold back at all and just kissing the head gently.

“Oh!”

Marvin looked up at Jackie’s face, the way it contorted with arousal and fear at the same time, and his eyes glistened as he wrapped his mouth around Jackie’s cock.

The reassuring glint at the same as that warm, wet tightness made Jackie practically throw his head back, and his hand dropped from his mouth leaving the room privy to his moans.

Marvin hummed enthusiastically, bobbing his head quickly and efficiently and Jackie didn’t have it in him to protest anymore. In the back of his head, he’d made all the protest necessary, he could just... take it and maybe even enjoy it, even if it wasn’t his Master.

Jackie was being pushed embarrassingly close, considering the fact that he hadn’t dared to touch himself since he’d seen Anti last, and he’d struggled and wanted for release ever since.

And then it slipped.

“Ah - Anti...”

Marvin came up with a quick pop, grabbing Jackie by the thigh as Jackie whined loudly from the sudden lack of contact.

“Don’t say his name. Please. Say mine. Say my name, Hero...”

Marvin didn’t go back down straight away. He looked right into Jackie’s eyes, waiting, licking up and down his cock, teasing the tip relentlessly.

“F-fuck, I’m sorry, please, I don’t want it to stop, don’t stop, oh God...”

“He doesn’t own you any more, Jackie, say my name.”

Marvin began jerking Jackie off instead of using his mouth to draw him ever closer to his organs and that was more overwhelming than Jackie would have liked to admit, but it was like coaxing some sense out of Jackie.

“Jackie...”

Marvin twisted his wrist a certain way at the tip of Jackie’s cock, with the other hand cradling and gently pulling on his balls.

“FUCK okay, fuck, Marv, please, I need to cum, I - don’t stop, I’m begging , I -“

Jackie lost the ability to speak as tears pricked at his eyes and Marvin took him into his mouth and right down his throat, gagging a little with the sudden intrusion, but it was worth it.

Jackie all but screamed Marvin’s name, bucking up into Marvin’s mouth and Marvin reached out his hand to hold Jackie’s. That was it, Jackie was crying and the tension snapped and without warning, he was cumming too.

Marvin attempted to swallow with little time to actually think about it, and he choked some, but he was more focused on comforting Jackie through everything.

As soon as he began to move from between Jackie’s legs though, his head was spinning again and all of a sudden, he needed to throw up. Violently.

He managed to throw himself off the bed and into his small en-suite, less walking and more crawling off kilter, trying to hold back the burning sickness in his stomach, and Jackie shouted out for him.

“Wh - Marv?! Are you -“

Something cut Jackie off and then Marvin was holding the toilet bowl like his life depended on it, grateful that he’d cleaned it recently, heaving and dry retching and eventually hurling up into the water.

His body shook like he was almost having a seizure, and there was a voice behind him, the same voice that had been in his head earlier, the voice that had broken through the barriers he’d tried so hard to keep up for everyone’s safety, and his stomach dropped as he couldn’t even turn around to confirm because of how sickly the voice made him feel.

“That didn’t belong to you.”

The voice cracked and shook as if barely concealing tears and rage and rather strong feelings that Marvin hadn’t realised Anti had, but here he was nonetheless, and Marvin didn’t have the strength to do a damn thing.

He could only whimper and plea in this state.

“Anti... please...”

There was a hand in his hair suddenly, ripping him backwards, and Marvin was sure he heard Jackie yelp in the background.

“AGH!”

“I knew you were sick, I knew you always had those awful, gooey feelings about him but you... you took him away from me. Have you told him that it was you? Does he know, Marvin?”

Jackie spoke from outside the bathroom and Marvin attempted to spit out a bit of bile but it ended up just falling down his shirt.

“Know what...? What do you mean?”

“IT WAS HIM! He took you from me with his own dirty, disgusting, thieving hands and never told you because he KNEW you wouldn’t forgive him, you wouldn’t have been so... insolent. Such a bad pet.”

His rage for Marvin morphed into something sadder, much sadder, like betrayal, and Anti was... crying. Now, that was a sight, a sight that Marvin might have appreciated the rarity of if he wasn’t having chunks of his hair ripped from his scalp.

As he whimpered once more, Anti let him go, dropping him to the floor, and Marvin’s head cracked against the cold tile.

Distantly, the bedroom door opened and there was a mumbled “scheisse” but Anti clearly didn’t care. No one in this house would touch him or stand up to him except for Marvin.

“Jackie - pet, come home. Come back home with me.”

It sounded far less demanding than Jackie had ever heard, and both Marvin and the hidden Henrik had to actually doubt for a moment whether or not Anti was really as terrible to Jackie as they thought if he was being like... this.

Not that this was still acceptable behaviour from a partner but it certainly didn’t hold as much homicidal intent as they usually expected from Anti.

“Anti, I... but isn’t this my family? My friends?”

Anti flinched at the use of his real name coming from Jackie. His fists clenched. He was visibly tense, shaking to the point of glitching on the spot.

“Is that what they’ve told you, or is that how you feel?”

Jackie looked less sure now, although it seemed he was more asking for the sake of curiosity, something he wouldn’t have to worry about if he went with Anti.

Marvin called out from the bathroom, his voice weak and raspy.

“JACKIE. Don’t go! Please, I need you here!”

Anti immediately growled in return, not taking too kindly to anything that might influence Jackie’s ‘decision’. But Jackie stood up from the bed and whispered something into Antis ear, and then things were quiet for a moment.

Jackie, only partly dressed, came up behind Marvin.

“I needed a friend. You and Schneep and everyone else couldn’t deal with the fact that I wasn’t what you wanted me to be, and you used me. I’m going home, Marvin,”

Jackie sounded colder than Anti somehow, and the switch between them was incredibly unnerving. As Marvin attempted to turn around to watch them leave, Anti glitched right in front of him, at his level on the tiled floor.

“I hope you enjoyed your time. If it weren’t for the good nature of my pet, you’d be dead.”

“Master?”

“It’s alright, we’re leaving.”

Jackie’s eyes looked almost blank, like there wasn’t a thought running through his head when Anti was around, and he liked it like that. There was even a small smile on Antis face. That was... terrifying. It didn’t even seem malicious.

Had Anti cared about Jackie this entire time? Why had Antis voice been in Marvin’s head, pushing him to say those things...?

Oh.

“Jackie, that wasn’t me, I didn’t mean any of that, it was him -“

“So you don’t love me then? Well, that makes things easier.”

Jackie and Anti held hands as they glitched out of existence together.

Marvin sat there, only vaguely noticing the small amount of blood dripping down the side of his head.

Henrik spoke up his breath, clearly trying to hold back his own tears.

“Blvde fotze...”

**Author's Note:**

> Have you got an idea or a request for a fic? Come shoot me a message at markipwiwer.tumblr.com!
> 
> If you like what I do, please consider supporting me at www.ko-fi.com/markipwiwer!


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